How to Tell Better Sacred Myths

Here's a quote from Faith Forward: A Dialogue on Children Youth & A New Kind of Christianity that offers 6 steps in telling more beautiful, more just, more virtuous sacred myths.

"Russell [Rathbun] and I took people through a reading of a common scripture narrative, giving them these directions:

1. Read the passage for what it says and doesn’t say.
2. Think about how you have traditionally heard this story told.
3. List three things you love about the passage as you are now reading it.
4. List three things that have bothered you in the past about the story itself or the way the story is typically recounted.
5. Articulate three questions that come to mind when you think of this story.
6. Select one thing from each of the three preceding categories and use them to re-imagine the story.

"The responses to every facilitation of this simple process have been amazing. Once youth [and the adults in their lives] sink their teeth into the text in this way and find out that this is how a living tradition is supposed to function, they seldom want to let go. Russell and I call this kind of reimagining of the biblical narrative “stories that compost.” Our hope is to pass along tellings of the stories of our faith that our children can use for as long as the stories nourish them. But when the stories cease to be of value, they can “psycho-degrade” if you will, and be reconstituted into something more relevant and useful for the specific times in which our children (or grandchildren) live."

In the Stories the COMPOST workshop, not only do we participate as community in the storytelling process outlined above, but we also identify 7 important attributes that more beautiful sharings of the biblical narrative tend to have.

The Books of Ember

We've added The Books of Ember to our recommended reading list (sidebar) for ages 9 & up. It is a series of young adult fiction by Jeanne DuPrau begun shortly after 9-11. Here's a fantastic quote from the second book of the series The People of Sparks:

"'You turned a crazy old guy into an enemy in less than two minutes. You did it. You've done it over and over, I've seen you: you approach people like an enemy and bam!, they turn into one, whether they were to begin with or not' [Maddy accused, after discovering she and her traveling companions had been robbed during the night by a hungry old man Casper had refused to help the day before].

'It's my policy to be ready to defend myself," Caspar said, scoling. 'At any moment.'

"Fine," said Maddy. "So now, because of your policy, we're out four cakes instead of two [we could have easily spared], and we have a lot of dirt on the rest.... If you ask me, making friends is a better defense than making enemies."

Making Disciples

It's been a while since we've posted, but we're back with the new found ability to post documents for download! Here are some thoughts about discipline that are the aggregate of many years of working with kids--my 13 years, plus the experiences of many others who have broadened my understanding of discipline. It's a strategy, one possible way of thinking about growing kids. It is not in any way the end-all of the subject. I hope you find it useful in furthering the discussion of such an important matter.

• Life Garden Discipline Strategy
• Life Garden Discipline Diagram

Big PUN, the notorious G.O.D.

Michelle Lopez, a wonderful at-home mom from Arizona, recently wrote:

Hi Melvin,

I am on another blog called Emerging Women. We have been discussing "If God Punishes", which has led to interesting thoughts. Obviously, I am rethinking Bible stories for children of preschool/ Kinder ages. One thing I would be curious about, should the focus of traditional stories be changed. I know that traditional stories ie Noah's ark, focused on the evil in the world, and that certainly has taught many "the punishing God". Do you think that in light of Jesus and his ways, that even if that was what was happening, through Christ that changed? If Jesus took upon himself the sin of the world and God doesn't see it any longer, shouldn't we focus on maybe how God cared for Noah and His family? Or in other traditional stories of punishment, can we turn them to focus on "choices made and redemption"? Especially for kids, I think that too much time has been spent focusing on punishment and fear.

For example, just tonight my daughter asked me if God was going to make her blind. She had watched a "Christian" video at my mother-in-law's house. I know I will have to deal with some of that, but I question "Is this really what I want my kids to take away about God?" I have been very careful and yet she is still getting messages like that, and thinks God will make her blind if she is bad. That bother's me.

How can stories be reconciled through the way of Christ? Christ acknowledged the Old Testament but was always concerned with the way that it was interpreted. Have we and are we still doing that with the stories we teach? I hope this makes sense. I would be curious to hear other ideas, or thoughts about this. Just thought I would throw it out.

Thanks again,
Michele

Michele,

You raise great theological questions. I am humbled that you invite me to comment on them, and as in every act of humility I begin in prayer. I have no definitive answers. Nonetheless, I do have a few suspicions.

I'm not so much a dispensationalist so I don't believe things are starkly different after Christ than before. However, I do believe that through Christ our understanding of God has expanded, and we should allow it to continue to do so.

It seems to me that it would never be helpful to dismiss totally "punishment" from our understanding of God; if for no other reason, it would leave us with a skewed (toward indulgence, which is seldom, if ever, healthy) vision of what it means to be a parent. Rather I believe that we should allow God in the way of Jesus to redeem our understanding of what I would be more inclined to call 'discipline' and its function in child-rearing.

Let me rehearse some things you undoubtedly already know, just to give us the same frame of reference for the purpose of our conversation. I believe the goal of child-rearing is to equip our children to make as good if not better choices/decisions than we would--better being more toward God's kingdom, particularly more toward an others-interested love. What discipline does is make it less convenient to grow the way of self-interest--as we are apt to do (path of least resistance and all)--and more convenient to grow in a healthier, more abundant, others-interested direction (the way of Jesus). What happens at times, however, is that some are so determined to grow counter-fruitfully (I know that's not a word, but it should be :-) that they will sacrifice life and limb--theirs and others--to satisfy their self-interest. And what they discover sooner or later is that there is no sustainability (life) in self-interest. Eventually, self-interest ends up gobbling up the very thing one was after. The Apostle John puts it most succinctly, "In him [Jesus] was life" (1:5).

Thus, as Leslie (my wife) and I often say, our job as parents is to say, "No," 2 more times (one from her, one from me) than our children say, "Yes," and "Yes" 2 more times than they say, "No." And in doing so, we must be tireless and irresistible. For example, Les & I have taught our daughters how to ask for things early on. The youngest is 16 months, and her very few words include "up please," "more please," "[point] please". (It's a teacher thing; we got so tired of having students who would just declare a need out loud in class and expect someone to fulfill it!) Well, once our 3-year-old got 'please' pretty much down, she started to experiment. At first it was, "I want... [such-and-such]," and in the moment, if it's something we don't mind her having, it's easy to forget to make her ask properly. However, when we're on top of our game, we'll say no to anything she says "I want" for. Still, like any kid, she has sought to test our resolve. Her newest derivation on what we have taught her is to preface her desires with, "Maybe you should... [such-and-such-and-such]." Because we like to see her reasoning, this has been even harder to resist. Nonetheless, we know she'll never feel compelled to ask if she can get away with anything else. And we know the fruit her life will bear if she learns to manipulate before learning the humility and respect of asking. So tough and inconsistent as it may be at times, we strive to stick to our guns.

The way of Jesus has taught us these things and I believe I see them at work in God's good creation, so I have confidence in using them to inform my understanding of the dynamic between God and humanity throughout the Bible. I see God as Heavenly Parent working tirelessly to grow humanity toward life, yet many of the stories being about children who were determined even unto death (self-destruction) to think they knew better.

This is where I believe common language fails us: because I do not believe that common death (mortality) is one and the same with eternal death (separation from God). Maybe they would be, shy of the work of Jesus reconciling all things. But because of him, we live in hope that our stupidity that may lead to our mortal demise does not have to eternally separate us from the God who gives life.

So when I read the story of Noah, one of the lessons I see in it is that self-interest can't last always. When I read about Pharaoh Ramses, I see a man given the rare opportunity to resist God with resolve and what comes of that. When I read the stories of King Saul and Uzzah (the non-priest who touched the ark as David was returning it to Jerusalem), I see men who had accustomed themselves to exercising prerogatives (from the Latin meaning "before"+"ask") that were not theirs. All real lessons that must be learned. But all extreme examples of chastening which Paul is instructive in letting us know is not the first stage of God's discipline--not to mention that all struggle and/or misfortune is not an act of God's discipline (Bruce Wilkinson's Secrets of the Vine was real helpful to me in teasing this out). Still all these stories teach us that fire really is hot. Blessed is the person, young or old, who can learn from others' belligerence.

I believe the thing we must hold on to is the truth that "God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance," and we should tell our stories from that point of grace. What is God doing in these stories to reconcile us unto Himself [unto each other, unto creation or unto ourselves]? How is She loving us back to Herself and discipling us in the direction of good health and sustainability? That is my focus [(communicated age appropriately, of course)]. Fear may be a good attention grabber, like spanking--and sometimes we need our attention grabbed--but neither is a good reconciler or teacher.

I pray some of that helps you continue to process through how best to teach your children. We're all still in process on this thing for sure. What are you thinking in response?

Much love,
Melvin Bray

What do you think, other parents?